Holding my baby a little extra long tonight. He's had a hard time napping today and so he was a little whiny and clingy. Well, not really clingy, because he's really not that kind of baby, but wanting me to be in close proximity and not out of sight. He got a little better near bedtime and after his last meal.  We listened to music while he sat on my bed and I folded his clothes. He enjoys that. He likes it even more when I sing along to the music. He even tries to chime in. After that, we started his nighttime routine, which I don't always do.  Changed him into his pjs, then rocked him in the rocking chair while singing, "Angel Lullaby," all three verses of, "I Am a Child of God," and then turned on the sleep time playlist on my phone which consists of, "Breath of Heaven," "Gravity," Il Divo's version of ,"Hallelujah,"Whisper of a Thrill," and "Watch You Grow," among others.  For some reason I feel like rocking and holding him extra long tonight, even though he's been asleep for awhile now.  He is such a happy boy. I feel so privileged to be his mom. He is such a special spirit.
Maybe one reason I feel like holding him longer today is because I'm thinking of some of my friends. One couple lost their sweet baby girl two years ago. It seems that she only lived about 12 hours.  I think of how I didn't really expect my pregnancy to last and how at the beginning after my baby was born, I would check on him almost constantly, especially at night, half expecting the worst. I've gotten better, but still check quite a bit. I am a little paranoid, but it reminds me that ever day, every moment with this sweet child is a gift. I hope that I get to continue watching him grow into a good man. It helps to know that no matter what happens, I will always be his mother. That's an amazing thing to me. There's a commercial on tv that is pretty cheesy, but touches me everytime because of the last line. It's a little girl kinda talking to her mother.  It's something along the lines of, " The moment I became yours, you became mine."
Ok, enough sentimentality for now.