Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
4 days!!
I felt excited today. It was nice to have a feeling other than anxiety, or nervousness, etc. :) Yay!!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Two Weeks
I'm getting married in two weeks. Even as I type that, I don't think it really sinks in. 2 weeks. Dos semanas. Nope, no matter how it goes, it still doesn't seem real.
How am I doing?
Well, today's an emotional day. I'm trying to start to pack up my room. I'm not doing well with it. Little things are getting me. This may be the last time I'll vacuum up under my bed...........but it won't be my bed anymore in 2 weeks. They won't be my sheets, my pillows, my headboard, my dresser. I'm leaving windows and walls that are more than just windows and walls. How many memories will I have to throw away today? My memory seems to be getting worse and worse and sometimes only the physical reminders help me to remember. I know I'll have new memories.
Anyone have a good feet warmer? Cuz my feet are turning into ice. I'm trying to have faith and just continue to move forward.
2 weeks.
Doubts creep in: Do I really have what it takes to be a good wife, and when the time comes, mother? Can I be supportive and unselfish the way I need to be? Will our love continue to grow? Will we grow together, or apart? And a family ward? Really? Teenagers and Primary? What are those?
Arguments to doubts: He's an incredible man. He has a heart that is so rare among men. He loves me so much. He can handle me and my craziness and is willing to take it on. He helps me to realize that I'm ok. He lets me know that he doesn't expect me to be perfect. He's patient and kind. He'll take care of me, but encourage me to fly.
Arguments to arguments: Can I really be for him all that he is for me? What if I push him to far and one day he decides he can't take it anymore? Do I love him enough? Do I have that kind of love inside of me? Will my attention span go out the window? Will I be lonely when he has to work so much? Can I be an inlaw that will fit in and they'll like? Will I have the disapline I need to keep up on chores? I'm told that I don't have to be like my mother, but she's amazing. How am I supposed to live up to that?
2 weeks.
Can I really do this? It's always been something that's ahead of me, so I couldn't mess it up.
2 weeks to eternity.
P.S. How in the world am I supposed to fit into my dress when I'm this stressed???
How am I doing?
Well, today's an emotional day. I'm trying to start to pack up my room. I'm not doing well with it. Little things are getting me. This may be the last time I'll vacuum up under my bed...........but it won't be my bed anymore in 2 weeks. They won't be my sheets, my pillows, my headboard, my dresser. I'm leaving windows and walls that are more than just windows and walls. How many memories will I have to throw away today? My memory seems to be getting worse and worse and sometimes only the physical reminders help me to remember. I know I'll have new memories.
Anyone have a good feet warmer? Cuz my feet are turning into ice. I'm trying to have faith and just continue to move forward.
2 weeks.
Doubts creep in: Do I really have what it takes to be a good wife, and when the time comes, mother? Can I be supportive and unselfish the way I need to be? Will our love continue to grow? Will we grow together, or apart? And a family ward? Really? Teenagers and Primary? What are those?
Arguments to doubts: He's an incredible man. He has a heart that is so rare among men. He loves me so much. He can handle me and my craziness and is willing to take it on. He helps me to realize that I'm ok. He lets me know that he doesn't expect me to be perfect. He's patient and kind. He'll take care of me, but encourage me to fly.
Arguments to arguments: Can I really be for him all that he is for me? What if I push him to far and one day he decides he can't take it anymore? Do I love him enough? Do I have that kind of love inside of me? Will my attention span go out the window? Will I be lonely when he has to work so much? Can I be an inlaw that will fit in and they'll like? Will I have the disapline I need to keep up on chores? I'm told that I don't have to be like my mother, but she's amazing. How am I supposed to live up to that?
2 weeks.
Can I really do this? It's always been something that's ahead of me, so I couldn't mess it up.
2 weeks to eternity.
P.S. How in the world am I supposed to fit into my dress when I'm this stressed???
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